meet robin

it took me years (and years and years)  to crack the code on how to have a long term relationship that works – and sustains. along the way i was on a path devoted to spiritual awakening - and it was working. yet, my achilles heel, the place i fell to pieces, the place i felt tossed around, lost, and truly so fucked up - was in long term relationship. 

and believe me, i tried! i was a serial monogamist starting when i was about fifteen years old and rarely was i single for long. looking back, my relationships were often transactional at best, and at worst they included verbal and sexual abuse, betrayal, sexless union, lack of commitment, inability to communicate, and lack of shared enjoyment. 

i came to believe i was “bad at choosing a man” and hoped that someday i would meet someone who would “just love me enough,” which i thought would be the big fix i was looking for.

i entered my relationship with my second husband which so much thoughtfulness and really clear, beautiful intentions. still we found ourselves in the throes of such utter struggle and conflict that at times we thought our only option was to end things. 

now here i am, seven years in, many, many hours of study, contemplation, practice, support, trial and error later - and i can say with total honesty and clarity that this relationship is deeper, more authentic, loving and resilient than anything i have ever been in. 

is it perfect? hell, no. but, have i learned how to navigate the highs and lows, tend the fire before it burns us down, and use the soyala together methods to fall back into love, enjoyment, and pleasure together again and again? hell, yes.